Quotes of Note - Return of the Living Dead (1985)

"You think this is a fuckin' costume? This is a way of life!"

Green Eyed Monster

I have to get something off my chest and since it's movie blog related, this seemed the best place to do it. While I have a link to it on this page, I would like you all to visit the blog Shoot the Projectionist.

Shoot the Projectionist is written and maintained by Ed Hardy, Jr. I don't know anything about Ed other than what I can glean from his posted writings. It is these posted writings that have forced me into writing this confession. I hate Ed Hardy Jr. I really hate him.

Now, you may be asking yourself, "Noah, how can you hate this guy, when you don't really know anything about him?" Well, as I said, what I know about the man is what I've gleaned from his writings, and I've come to the conclusion that Ed Hardy Jr. is an excellent writer and critic. You see, like Ed, I don't really like writing reviews.

To this end, Ed has invented a gimmick called "24 Words Per Film" where he sums up his thoughts about a film in, you guessed it, 24 words. This is truly brilliant and inspired. I'm so pissed I didn't think of this first. This is why I hate Ed Hardy Jr. So, go over to Ed's blog and check out his musings. Oh, and Ed, if your reading this, I hate you, you talented bastard.


P.S. - He's also using a still from one of my favorite movies as a header image. Arg! I hate that guy!

Quotes of Note - Howling II: ...Your Sister Is a Werewolf (1985)

"Silver bullets are useless against such creatures, quite useless. Only titanium will kill them."

Who Knows What Evil Lurks In the Hearts Of Men...?

I have always been a fan of all things pulp. Recently, a new publishing company called Nostalgia Ventures has begun to reprint the original pulp novel adventures of The Shadow and Doc Savage. This got me thinking about the Shadow, and I recently caved and ordered the widescreen UK DVD, since the US release is Pan and Scan only. I've had fond memories of this film from my first few viewings years ago and was pleased to find out that those feelings have not changed with the passage of time. This film notoriously bombed upon release, and yet I have no idea why. I realize that the Shadow doesn't have the same name recognition as the previous year's Batman Returns. However, this film is easily a much more satisfying superhero film than either of Tim Burton's massive bat-hits.



Don't get me wrong. High art, this film isn't. But, director Russell Mulcahy lends the kind of unique visual flair to The Shadow, that he did to his earlier Highlander. Everything you could want is here: insane Mongols, tommy guns, secret Shadow agents, gorgeous women, atomic bombs, and a brilliant cast. You'll spend half the film just pointing at bit actors and yelling, "hey! It's that guy!" The other thing that helps this film, is that it's tight. Not a frame is spared for something that doesn't add to the plot, or build on the necessary flavor of the film itself. Honestly, I don't want to get too deep into the film, because this is not a deep film. It's just a shit load of fun. Seek it out!

Trailer

Quotes of Note - Dune (1984)

"It is by will alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of sapho that thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by will alone I set my mind in motion."

The Kind Of Communism We Can All Hate

This is an interesting report featured on Reuters a few days ago:

"BEIJING (Reuters) - China has added ghosts, monsters and other things that go bump in the night to its list of banned video and audio content in an intensified crackdown ahead of the Beijing Olympics.

Producers have around three weeks to look through their tapes for "horror" and report it to authorities, the General Administration of Press and Publications said in a statement posted on the government Web site.

Offending content included "wronged spirits and violent ghosts, monsters, demons, and other inhuman portrayals, strange and supernatural storytelling for the sole purpose of seeking terror and horror," the administration said.

The new guidelines aim to "control and cleanse the negative effect these items have on society, and to prevent horror, violent, cruel publications from entering the market through official channels and to protect adolescents' psychological health."

The regulations suggest China, where graphic, pirated sex and horror movies are available on most street corners, is keen to step up its control of the cultural arena ahead of the Beijing Olympics in August, which are widely seen as a coming-out party for the rising political and economic power.

They come just weeks after Beijing clamped down on "vulgar" video and audio content, slapped restrictions on Internet sites and handed down a two-year film-making ban to the team behind the steamy "Lost in Beijing."

(Reporting by Beijing Newsroom; Editing by Nick Macfie and Alex Richardson)"

What this means for the fantastic Hong Kong film industry and massive DVD export market is uncertain.

For seven years I spoke with God... and he told me this movie sucks!

Do you like science fiction movies?

Do you like 2001: A Space Odyssey?

Do you like Event Horizon?

Would you like to see those two movies get drunk while at the Cannes Film Festival, have dirty sex in a public lavatory, and produce a love child?

If you answered yes to that last one, you'll probably love Sunshine. I however, do not. Don't get me wrong. I love 2001 and I even find Event Horizon somewhat entertaining in a Mouth of Madness-in-space kind of way. But what we get here, is an amalgam of sci-fi trappings and moments from other films, sewn together with a thread made out of Danny Boyle's pretentiousness. There's a super-powerful evil guy like Sam Neil in Event, a talking computer ala Hal 9000, some spacewalk scenes right out of Mission to Mars, and even an obvious reference to Dark Star. Oh, and don't forget the set of the big finale, which looks like it was leftover from a Cube sequel. Basically, this film is just like 28 Days Later, except much worse. We get to see mopey Cillian Murphy wandering from plot point to plot point stolen from other, better movies in the genre, only to be tied up with an ending that leaves the viewer feeling a bit underwhelmed.

Now, I will admit I'm being a bit hard on this movie (as well as 28 Days Later, even though it pales in comparison to its sequel). The first two acts of the film, while derivative, aren't bad at all, and are fairly entertaining. The film simply takes a wrong turn at Albuquerque come the third act and spirals slowly into shit. I found myself enjoying this movie, then slowly questioning what was happening. Then I got the feeling this wasn't going well, and by the end, was just bored and disappointed.

To make a long story short (too late), don't bother with this movie. Unless, of course, any of the above sounds fun to you.

Danny Boyle, your days are numbered.

R.I.P.

Roy Scheider

11/10/1932 - 2/10/2008