Review: What Would Jesus Buy?

I just had the fortune of watching What Would Jesus Buy? for the first time and even though it focuses on Christmas (it is currently May), and it deals with protesters (which can be a very eye rolling thing), this is definitely a movie I’m tempted to run out and buy, ironically. The film follows Reverend Billy and his Stop Shopping Choir across the country as they perform a protest/sermon/musical theater/play anywhere that consumerism rears its ugly head. Now, the first question you might ask yourself is, “Are these people really serious or is this whole thing just disingenuous?” Well, while the protest nature of these performances and appearances do have a staged quality, mainly because they’re staged, it is both Billy’s message, and his character that bring a real spontaneous passionate quality to the proceedings. These people are simply trying to get a point across, and thankfully, they’re going about it in an entertaining way.

Billy’s message obviously raises a lot of questions and issues. While these people are making money off of this whole thing in the first place, it becomes very clear that between arrests, buses, hotel rooms, food, etc. that they’re not profiting from their endeavor in a monetary way. Also, one has to wonder, how can I simply stop shopping? But, what Billy’s “church” does is preach responsible shopping. They emphasize buying American products, putting your money back into the community, saving, recycling, giving, being a considerate and responsible person and avoiding the addictive qualities of tying to buy satisfaction. Also, while the group’s religious nature may be highly dubious, there is no doubt that their message applies perfectly to those of faith. Jesus, or Mohamed, or Buddha, or whoever doesn’t want you to sell yourself into the slavery of debt in an attempt to make yourself, or your kids happy. These people out the emphasis on meaning, not monetary value. I’m sure we’ve all seen our own family members pile giant plastic Christmas gift after giant plastic Christmas gift onto their children, only for the child to be more interested in the empty box the thing came in as opposed to the one hundred dollar Barbie castle.


A whole slew of people and perspectives are offered up here between Billy’s shenanigans. We see the poor and the rich, and hear about their Christmases. You’ll hear children agreeing that they have way too many toys. You’ll see footage of shoppers beating each other into submission to reach that last X-Box 360. Many faith leaders also chime in on the significance and righteousness of Billy’s message. There are equal amounts of humor, sadness, and truth to be found here, and I find it hard to believe that anyone won’t get swept up in the spirit of this film. This is only aided by the focus on the members of Billy’s group, their trials and tribulations, the good times and the bus accidents. It must be seen to be believed.

So, I clearly liked the film, there’s no question about that after reading my gushing endorsement. I would however, like to get personal for a moment. I have worked in retail all of my life. I know first hand how much people let objects rule their lives. I have been insulted, threatened, picked on, and praised all because of little stacks of paper glued together, with writing on them, which I happen to sell. Our value as employees is based on our ability to sell. We are judged on our ability to convince people that they need something that they don’t. And, while it’s not a very happy or fulfilling job, I don’t take it for granted and I don’t forget that I’m lucky to have it. I work for a company that can only be found in America. The vast majority of the books we sell are printed right here in America as well. We do not outsource. All our employees are Americans (yes, even our phone reps, I believe). That is a rare thing indeed these days. Yet, I can’t even earn enough money, having worked forty hours a week for almost nine years, to have a place of my own. I have over ten grand in credit card debt, and own practically nothing. Would I get paid more if all our books were printed in China and all the jobs we could possibly outsource, were outsourced? Maybe, maybe not. I’m just glad that’s not the case. I like to think Billy would get behind shopping at my place of business.


So, I think every American owes it to his or her self to see this movie. Do you have to take it seriously? Not at all. It works as a great piece of entertainment on its own. Don’t let all my seriousness dissuade you from giving this a viewing. That’s just how I get when I write film reviews at five in the morning. Can I get a changelujah!?

Noah "Annubis" Soudrette


Trailer

Quotes of Note: Repo Man (1984)

Bud: "Credit is a sacred trust, it's what our free society is founded on. Do you think they give a damn about their bills in Russia? I said, do you think they give a damn about their bills in Russia?"
Otto: "They don't pay bills in Russia, it's all free."
Bud: "All free? Free my ass. What are you, a fuckin' commie? Huh?"
Otto: "No, I ain't no commie."
Bud: "Well, you better not be. I don't want no commies in my car. No Christians either."

Review: The Orphanage

So I watched Orphanage from director Juan Antonio Buyona and written by Sergio G. Sanchez. I first saw adds for this movie on television and it was touted as "From Guillermo del Toro", so I thought well then it must be good cause he rocks. Then of course I found out he was only a producer on it. Still, I was intrigued cause to my knowledge Guillermo doesn't attach his name (no matter how peripherally) to stuff he thinks sucks. But I couldn't see the film in the theaters, and when it came out well...you would not believe the waiting list at the local library for this thing. But finally I watched it the other day, and I was very pleasantly surprised.

This movie reminded me in turns of Lady in White and Poltergeist and yes a little bit of Pan's Labyrinth. Of course going into it I was expecting something more scary than eerie and touching. I thought this was going to be more disturbing like a trip into the world of Silent Hill or something.

The acting is solid, though I don't think I can fully judge that since it's a movie in Spanish, which I don't speak beyond pleasantries (Hello, Goodbye, Thank you,..etc). I think the most standout performance for me was by Montserrat Carulla as Benigna. The second time you see her in the film she is skulking in a tool shed of sorts with a shovel, so it was mildly creepy for a very brief scene. I feel she adds a layer to the story while having very little dialog, and to me thats just good acting.



I think the strongest two points of the movie for me though were, Setting and Story. Briefly put, the story is that of a couple who move into an old orphanage that the wife use to live in as a child. Things seem eerie enough at first, but just as they are settling into the new home their son vanishes and no one can find him. The rest of the movie takes place over 6 more months of time. I don't want to say much more other than paranormal investigators are brought in, and the dark history of the orphanage (after the one parent had left as a child) comes to light. While I can't say that many of the events in the story are unique, as I've seen them in other movies and books, I will say the way they are presented felt highly original to me. In the end this was a ghost story dosed largely with maternal love and devotion, that has a darkly happy ending.

My favorite scene in the movie is that involving a trio of paranormal investigators (thats really too simple a word for what they do or believe, but its the best I've got without writing a dissertation to describe them) are brought in to sniff out Simon (the lost child). Its quite possibly the creepiest scene, and borders on frightening. This was very much like the best stuff I've seen from the television show "Ghost Hunters".



Now I've like to close with a little bit about the setting, my other strong point for the movie. The seaside house that is the orphanage is very interesting. Often times plot elements are revealed as new aspects/areas of the house are revealed to us the viewer. The house is big without being sprawling, thus allowing a cozy feeling place with just the right number of nooks and crannies for secrets to lay hidden. Also the seaside is used a couple of times very nicely, particularly a very creepy cave (which led to my one point of saying the mother was being stupid. Who lets there child go exploring a strange seaside cave alone.).

All in all this was a strong and unique movie. It surprised me by its depths of story and setting. This is a ghost story in the more classic tradition. The ghosts are restless and sad, but not necessarily evil. There is shock and horror in it, but not simply for shock and horrors sake (more as a byproduct of story elements and drama). I like this movie. Its different than what I expected it to be, and it has Spanish ghost hunters in it. I expect more and get far less from most movies, so I give it my stamp of approval. If you liked Pan's Laybrinth or The Others you will find this movie to your liking.

Jesse "Baron Ironfury" Stevens


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Cinematic Rich's David Lynch Double Feature

Editor's Note: Once in a blue moon, I like to get someone to write or comment about film, who usually doesn't have much to say. Why? Well, in reality, they usually have a lot of interesting things to say, they're simply a soft spoken person, or perhaps no one ever really asks them their detailed opinion in the first place. I mention this because I am friends with such a man, and occasionally I poke and prod and cajole him into putting his thoughts down on digital paper. I feel he has a sharp and true insight when it comes to film and I hope we'll have more comments from him that we can post in the future. Enjoy. - Annubis


Inland Empire

My first thought is that I am glad that this was not my first introduction to a David Lynch movie. Seeing a few before this one definitely prepped me for what was to come in this one as much as it could. I must say that in all of Lynch's movies I came away thinking about them for sometime after. They make you think about them in a haunting way. I want to try and make sense of it in a nice linear way. I am not sure Lynch has a clearly defined explanation for his movies generally. He has thoughts, images, feelings he projects and creates characters that are placed within this framework. Visually, he is like an abstract artist and wants the viewer the to put their own interpretation on his work. A few words that might describe this movie are... creepy, haunting, riveting, disturbing, I felt like I was being pulled into the character very close, to the point of uncomfortable, like being a fly on the wall and not able to look away. I wanted the dark corners and shadowy areas to be illuminated. I give as much credit to Laura Dern as I do to Lynch as the director, she is awesome. Her ability to play multiple characters in this one was noteworthy. Being a wife, actor, whore and shifting back and forth giving the viewer the challenge to figure out at times which one you are seeing. The lines were blurred many times. The scenes and images gave me the feeling that I was inside someones head seeing their thoughts, memories and nightmares. I felt like I went down the rabbit hole and entered the world of David Lynch... The Twilight Zone.



Lost Highway

Watched Lost Highway last night and as always was anxious to see what was in store for me. Well, David Lynch did what he does best and that is to allow you to absorb the content of his movie and apply your personal meaning upon it. Once again if you looking for linear plot lines and logical conclusions to a movie your not a Lynch fan because he gives you none of that. A viewers open mind and personal experiences I believe fills the gaps which can be huge to weave together very fragmented ideas into some general coherence. Love the characters he creates and who he picks to play them, this movie was no exception. They are what keeps your eyes glued to the screen, along with Lynch's unique shooting style and the sound tracks that give such mood and emotion to his work. I find myself continuing to watch thinking that surely things will come together and all make sense, then it ends and I realize that this is David Lynch and that is what you get. It never fails that I find myself thinking about his movies for sometime after and if nothing else, is satisfying. His choice to take a different path from most film makers is refreshing. Grade: B.

"Cinematic" Rich Corney

Baron Ironfury's Comic Movie Holy Trinity

Editor's Note: This was actually written and submitted before the release of "Iron Man" and the start of the summer movie madness. I'm lazy, what can i say? Hope you like the custom image I made Baron, as a token of apology. - Annubis

Ok so this is my "favorite 3 comic book superhero movies" post.

So while "officially" its not summer yet, in my geeky heart it has already begun. Its the summer of superhero movies, and I'm too happy for words. Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, and The Dark Knight are making me feel almost as excited as when I was a child and Summer vacation was on its way. Also you've got Hellboy II: The Golden Army and Wanted. I wish every summer could feel this packed full of geeky goodness. So all of this has led me to think long and hard about what I feel are my top three favorite comic book superhero movies, as well as a few runners up. So without further delay, here is my big fat geeky list:

The Hulk: Directed by Ang Lee and Starring Eric Bana as the Hulk. I place this one first because it has long be unappreciated. I personally felt it was a strong and well made movie, and one of the more unique comic book superhero movies I've ever seen. The use of comic book style panels as wipes to new scenes, was particularly cool. I thought the acting was excellent on all points, though I'd have to say the breakout performance was Nick Nolte as papa Banner. No one does insane and intense quite like Nolte. In the end I just found it to be a perfect balance of emotion and brawn, combined with tight narrative and cool Hulk effects.

Batman Begins: This is my second pick for top three. Its the best live action Batman movie to date. Makes a brilliantly moody and dark Batman origin come to life, complete with my all time favorite Batman villain Ra's Ah Ghul. I had long ago started to think Batman would never be able to be well represented on the silver screen. Of course its spot as best Batman movie is about to be usurped by The Dark Knight, but it will always be the first.

X2: Don't get me wrong, X-Men one was also good, but nothing will match this one. Its the first with Wolverine really being wolverine. He stabs, he slices, he slaughters in 6 different sizes. Then add to that the most ingenious prison escape/use of magnetism I think I'll ever see. Bryan Singer really out does himself with this one, and I can't help but wish the movie studio could have had the foresight and patience to let the man make X-Men 3 when he was free to do it. Oh well, it just makes X2 shine all the brighter next to that X3 turd.

Now as for my runners up. First and foremost its got to be Hellboy. Fantastic movie and would make the top 3 except my brain works oddly and I just can't place Hellboy in the same category as more classic 4-color style heroes as the others. Otherwise if its just comic books, then this may very well be the best comic book movie I've seen. Next up is Unbreakable by M. Night Shyamalan, its real and gritty and incorporates mythic archetypes, unfortunately its not based on and actual comic book superhero. Finally there is Spider-Man 2. This was in line for spot number three in my favorites, but I just liked X2 more. Its actually an excellent movie, but I really just like the X-Men better than Spider-man period.

Well thats it for my list. I still haven't seen Iron Man though I hear from my sources that its stellar. I hope you all enjoy this summer filled with comic book movies as much as I plan to. Oh yes, nothing better to spend a stimulus check on than movies and popcorn!

Baron Ironfury

Review: Indiana Jones and the Sequel of Dubious Quality

I'm not sure if I'm comfortable reviewing Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I just saw it a few hours ago and it's one of those films that, much like Lucas' Star Wars prequels, needs a little time to gestate before rendering a final opinion. If your not sure what I'm talking about, then you probably don't remember the joy you experienced while watching The Phantom Menace, and then the feeling of it slowly fading as you left the theater and it dawned on you what a crap fest it really was. I have a bad feeling that the same will happen here. So, I'm just going to talk about the things I liked and disliked, off the top of my head.

The things that felt the most right about this film were the chases. The chases, for the most part, stand up to the excellent chases in previous Indy films. There is also an excellent sequence involving killer ants. You never seen enough killer ants in film these days. The most important thing that clicked however, was Harrison Ford. He still has that energy and sparkle in his eye that helped make the character of Indiana Jones great. Now, if he only had some better dialog to deliver. Not that the lines were bad here, they just weren't very memorable. There is a lovely nod to the late Denholm Elliott's wonderful Marcus Brody character as well as a pseudo-cameo from Henry Jones I. Brody is replaced by a similar character played by Jim Broadbent, who does a good job, but could never live up to Elliott's magic.



I should probably address Shia LaBeouf. I for one, don't hate Mr. LaBeouf and feel he does a good job here. He isn't annoying, and doesn't overstep his boundaries. Anakin Skywalker he is not, thank god. The other thing that must be addressed here, is more of a preparatory thing. This could be considered a spoiler, even though you learn about it in the first scene of the film, so proceed with caution. This entire film's plot revolves around aliens. Yes, the rumors are true, aliens. If this sounds like a stupid idea, it is... it really is. The film also feels the need to remind you every five seconds, that the skull is alien. Did I mention there are aliens? There are aliens. Isn't that annoying when I tell you over and over again? You bet. Too bad the filmmakers didn't realize that. So, aliens, a BIG check in the negative category for this film. The few other downsides pale in comparison: Cate Blanchett is laughable, Marian Ravenwood is a hollow shell of the character she once was, and somehow Indy survives an atomic bomb.

So, is it a good film? Probably not. If you turn your brain off and go with the flow, it can be a lot of fun, but whether or not it will stand up to any real analysis remains to be seen.

P.S. - If anyone out there has a copy of Frank Darabont's rejected script, I'd love to read it. I have a feeling that it's pretty good... comparatively.

Noah "Annubis" Soudrette


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First Iron Man, Now...

So, everyone is talking about Iron Man lately, and for good reason. I decided not to write a full review since the film kicks ass and that's all you need to know. So, instead, I've decided to celebrate the tentative announcement of a Captain America film, by showing this exclusive preview clip. Enjoy.