Weekend Update

Sorry about the lack of capsule reviews this weekend. we're working on it. I imagine it'll be a big one next time, since the Baron has the week off. I myself am also a little dry on movie reviews. But, we have a few things in the pipeline. Hopefully we'll be posting some reviews in the next week or two from Chuck Wilson, and "Cinematic" Rich. I've also been toying with doing some kind of audio feature on here, but that'll be a ways off. Until then, may your holiday be creepy.

Scream Queen of the Month: Ashley Laurence

Well, since the first one was a hit, as I promised, we have a new scream queen of the month, and a most appropriate month at that.


Filmography:
1. Red (2008) .... Mrs. McCormack
2. Chill (2007) .... Maria
3. Lightning Bug (2004) .... Jenny Graves
4. Hellraiser: Hellseeker (2002) .... Kirsty
5. Warlock III: The End of Innocence (1999) .... Kris Miller
6. Cupid (1997) .... Jennifer Taylor
7. Lurking Fear (1994) .... Cathryn Farrell
8. Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988) .... Kirsty Cotton
9. Hellraiser (1987) .... Kirsty Cotton

What is there I can say about Ashley Laurence that wont end with me appearing as some slobbering, slack jawed, uber-dork lusting uncontrollably. Not much. Just one look at her and you get a good sense of her magnetism. See her in a film, and you'll be hooked. And, while I suppose that most of you who visit this blog think she's a very talented actress, I can;t help but feel that she's still a bit of an unknown in the land of movies. She's the star of the first two Hellraiser movies, which are huge successes, but I never really hear her talked about much when it comes to the short list of great horror actresses. This is really a shame as well since she's also one of the nicest celebs I've ever met, and honestly, even hotter now than then. See for yourself, here. Anyway, I urge anyone out there who doesn;t have a strong memory of any of her performances, or who has only seen the Hellraiser flicks, to check out more of her work. She's a real talent. Oh, I forgot, she's also an accomplished painter. Check her out here.

Book Review: Locke & Key: Welcome to Lovecraft

So, why a book review? Well, we all love movies, and horror movies especially, here at TWTT, but just like with anything else, you need to mix it up every now and then. I love writing about films. I've always been passionate about it, even to the point where I find it daunting at times. Therefore, I figured why not take a break from film and talk about this fab new graphic novel I picked up today, Locke & Key: Welcome to Lovecraft.

Locke & Key is written by Joe Hill, son of Stephen King and recipient of a shitload of awards, including two Stoker Awards. Now, before I get into the plot I need to issue a warning here. I am a huge fan of the writings of H.P. Lovecraft. He is easily my favorite horror author of all time and one of my favorite authors in general, regardless of genre. If you have no idea who I'm talking about, I would recommend two websites on the man and his writings: The H.P. Lovecraft Archive or, for a quick rundown, there's always Wikipedia. Anyway, the reason I bring all this up is because, the man's name is in the title of this book. But, what you Lovecraft fans need to know is that the story here has little to nothing to do with Lovecraft. Now, after reading this it's pretty clear to me that Joe Hill is well acquainted with both Lovecraft and his father's work, since the spice of both can be found here. So, if your looking for slimy, betentacled horrors, look elsewhere. Lovecraft is simply the name of the Massachusetts town our characters relocate to in the first issue.

The plot is pretty straight forward at first glance. One weekend afternoon, three siblings are out at their neighbors, fooling around. They return home to find their father being murdered by two of their high school classmates. They then must fight to survive themselves. After their terrible ordeal, they all move in with their uncle who owns Key House, a mainstay of the family's past for an undisclosed amount of time. It is here that they find strange creatures, living echoes, and doors that can lead a person in some unexpected directions. Now, I'm being a little vague here because I don't really want to give anything away. Sufficed to say, the tale is not as "magical" as it sounds, and is in reality down right disturbing at times. While I obviously felt the shadows of Lovecraft and King here, the association that I felt the strongest, and that popped into my mind first, was that of Clive Barker. Now, that could be a subconscious reaction on my part. You see, the illustrator of Locke & Key, is the same guy who did the recent Great and Secret Show graphic novel adaptation. That aside, I still think the dark fantasy elements here are reminiscent of the Abarat series, while the serial killer, family dynamic, and sexual elements are strongly influenced by some of Barker's earlier works. Don't get me wrong though; while all of these elements are strongly present, Joe Hill does bring his own distinctive and strong voice to the story. He is simply very adept at taking the mythology and styles of modern horror and drawing from that diverse pool, much like Neil Gaiman does with folklore and mythology.

Now, I'd be remiss if I didn't bring up illustrator Gabriel Rodriguez. I was a little put off by Rodriguez's artistic style. At first glance, his characters are drawn in a very vague, cartoony sort of way, with angular features, and a certain lack of facial definition. As I looked closer though, I realized how wrong I was. What may at first appear generic and caricaturish is in actuality highly detailed, but in an expressionistic style. This is confirmed by the amount of detail that can be found in his seemingly simple backgrounds, and everyday objects like the wood grain on a door, or a piece of jewelery. This combination of subtle expressionistic illustration, combined with Hill's ability to keep the constant danger lurking just beneath the surface is a strong mixture, and one that takes this book up another notch.

So, if any of you out there are getting burnt out on horror films or novels, or are simply looking for a good graphic novel to pass the time, then I couldn't recommend Locke & Key: Welcome to Lovecraft any higher.

Weekly Capsule Reviews

Maid in Sweden
Directed by Dan Wolman and written by Ronnie Friedland and George T. Norris.

This is an erotic drama, which is an unusual choice for me. I thought it was a well made, if exploitative film, but I didn't like it. Don't get me wrong, I love soft core porn as much as the next guy (especially from Sweden!). But this movie takes a wrong turn early on with a rape scene that is glossed over by both the victim and raper. After that, everything else in the movie was tainted..ya know...with the RAPE! But it is a fairly decent, if standard, end of innocence story.


The Foot Fist Way
Directed by Jody Hill and Written by Jody Hill, Ben Best, and Danny R. McBride.

This was an unusual comedy that I waited a long time to see, since it was so indie it didn't come out in the Cincinnati area. I love Danny R. McBride, and he's been all over the two top comedies I saw this summer (Pineapple Express and Tropic Thunder) and I can't say he disappoints in this either. That being said, this movie is a very dark comedy. Its funny, but more in a "hmmm..yes, amusing" kind of way rather than a "hahaha I'm dying here" kind of way. Its good, but don't go in expecting to laugh your ass off, this comedy is more stealthy..like a NINJA.


The TV Set
Written and Directed by Jake Kasdan.

This movie was excellent. If even a tenth of what is portrayed here is true, then I have even more respect for the few shows on television with integrity and quality. Its the story of a writer/creator who struggles to get his pilot made, and then picked up. All the while he is slowly having to compromise his vision. David Duchovny, Signourney Weaver (no one plays a souless bitch quite like you Sigourney!), and Ioan Gruffudd are excellent in this. Its funny, its tragic, its ...kind of, sort of, realistic. Its very watchable!

Jesse "Baron Ironfury" Stevens

Maniac Cop Lives!

On the heels of the recent announcement by Bill Lusting that he and Larry Cohen are going to be doing a Maniac Cop 4, I came across a recent fan film by the highly talented Chris .R. Notarile. Chris is a struggling independent film maker who, for fun and notoriety, has done a number of fan films in the past along with his own original projects. You can checkout his work at Blinky Productions, where you can watch all his fan films, or buy DVD's of his original projects. His latest fan film (which is also serving as a bid to be included as a filmmaker in a new Maniac Cop film) features Matt Cordell himself, the Manaic Cop!

Review: Ghost Son (2006)

Recently I had the awesome chance to go to the Cinema Wasteland convention in Cleveland and meet director Lamberto Bava and actress Coralina Cataldi-Tassoni. These two have made a lot of great films in their time, and a few of them they’ve made together. Unfortunately, while Ghost Son is one of those films they made together, it’s not a great one. As is often the case, Coralina is relegated to a supporting role here. The lead actress of the film is Laura Harring. While this may come as a surprise to some, given her popularity after her breakout in Lynch’s Mulholland Drive, it seems Laura has a soft spot for horror pictures. She has appeared in such gene projects as Silent Night Deadly Night III: Better Watch Out!, Willard, and All Souls Day: Dia de los Muertos. Supporting Laura in the film are actos John Hannah (The Mummy Remake Series), Pete Postlewaite (Ususal Suspects, Alien 3), and Laura Harring’s giant breasts.



The film’s plot concerns Stacey (Laura Harring) moving to Africa to be with her boyfriend Mark (John Hannah) against the urging of her best friend Beth (Coralina). Sadly, in what can only be considered really shitty timing, Mark is killed in a car accident not long after Stacey arrives. She then becomes haunted by Mark’s ghost. He tries to get her to commit suicide, and even rapes her one night; Nice. Soon Stacey finds out she’s pregnant and gives birth to a little boy, only to be really creepily freaked out when Mark possesses their baby and tries to mack on her; Icky. Things get even creepier and weirder from there.



Now, this film is not very good. Don’t get me wrong; the cast is excellent and Bava’s cinematic eye is as sharp as always. The big problem here is that nothing really unpredictable or horrifying happens until the fifty minute mark. By then, if it wasn’t for Ms. Harring’s knockers, I’d be fighting to stay awake. Once the baby becomes possessed by Mark’s ghost, things finally kick in and we’re treated to some really weird and creepy shit. Unfortunately, the films climax is also a bit of a letdown, and is simply underwhelming. The film does benefit greatly though by being shot and set in Africa. This adds a really different vibe to the proceedings and, in my opinion, is an underused setting for genre films in general.



So, while this may be one of Bava’s weaker efforts (mostly due to the uneven script), it’s still worth checking out for fans of Bava, Coralina, or the hot Laura Harring. Even considering the problems here, I’m just happy it’s not a fall from grace for Bava of recent Romero proportions. Check it out.

Noah "Annubis" Soudrette

The Baron's Weekly Capsule Reviews

As I say above, "weekly." I promise, from now on.

Drillbit Taylor
Directed by Steven Brill and Written by Kristofor Brown & Seth Rogen.

This is a fun goofy comedy in the same vein as 40 Year Old Virgin and Superbad. I am not a fan of Owen Wilson at all, yet this movie was funny enough to get me to ignore his inherent mild retardation (thats right, I said retarded. Come get me anti-defamation league!). Its fun to watch nerds, and even a heavy nerd (a rarity in films) fight back and come out on top for a change.

The Kingdom
Directed by Peter Berg and written by Matthew Michael Carnahan.

This is a great movie. It pulls you (the American audience) in right from the beginning, and it doesn't let you go until the closing credits. The characters, the cinematography, the setting, it's all top notch. This may be the best thing I've seen Jaime Fox and Jennifer Garner in (not to mention some good work from Jason Bateman and Chris Cooper). By the end of the movie you understand that not every person from the Arab/Muslim world is a terrorist, but those who are probably will never be moved to stop their atrocities. This is a MUST WATCH!!!

In Bruges
Directed and Written by Martin McDonagh.

This is an excellent bit of dark comedy (emphasis on the dark; think "Hamlet" and you'll get an idea of character survivability in this flick). The cast does an excellent job, even Colin Farrell (a rabid little miscreant who's acting skills I usually despise) playing Ray, an uncouth retard (so the casting took the actors strengths and used them). Over all it's a great little bit of film from a first time writer/director, and if you like black comedies about hitmen/criminals with midget interludes, drug fueled rants about future race wars, and great medieval architecture...well then you will love this movie.

The Darjeeling Limited
Directed by Wes Anderson and Written by Wes Anderson, Roman Coppola, and Jason Schwartzman.

Okay, let me say, I hated this film. The characters are annoying (two of which are portrayed by actors I can't stand: Owen Wilson and Adrien Brody), the plot seems to go nowhere and take forever doing it!, and the short film prelude, is like a micro-cosom of the larger film (i.e. annoying, pointless, and slow). This film acted as the crap chaser that only emphasized the delicious flavors of the "okay to good" films I watched in this batch.

Entourage: Season 4
Created by Doug Ellin.

The show is a very glitzy sharp and funny tale of ultra-hippster actor Vincent Chase and his hangers on (a brother, a manager, and a childhood parasite known as Turtle). This show is a guilty pleasure for me, its a fun look into the industry of shallow values and crazy drama addicts. A friend of mine once declared it Sex and the City for men, and I'm a little embarrassed to say that's not untrue. Season 3 of this show sees our five main characters grow in their industry, if not there lives (though some of that happens too) as Vince and manager Eric (E for short) are producers on Vince's latest starring movie. They will reap the rewards and suffer all the problems this entails.

Battlestar Galactica:
Season 3
Created by Ronald D. Moore

This season of Galactica, more than any previous season, is heavily character driven. The plot is still there, but it kind of takes a backseat to the development of characters and their relationships with other characters. So its not a bad, or poorly made season. But I had to wait to watch this on DVD, quite a long wait my friends. And not seeing the story moved forward as much as I would like after so long a wait, I can't say that didn't annoy me some. And the ending is a cliffhanger! I already get that from Lost guys, I don't need another ultra-serious sci-fi drama that always ends with cliffhangers. It was a good solid season, but not my favorite season so far.

Hot Rod
Directed by Akiva Schaffer and Written by Pam Brady.

I'm not going to lie to you folks. This movie is silly and ridiculous. Its got crazy hilarious fights, large quantities of hair-band music in the score, and even some poop humor. And I loved every minute of it! The cast is super bad-ass! You have recent SNL alumni Andy Samberg and Bill Hader, then you have Danny R. McBride that seems to have exploded into every single funny movie I've seen this summer (Pineapple Express, Foot Fist Way, Tropic Thunder), and then you have Ian McShane as Rod's ultra-tough step-father. This movie is legit. Its too legit, and so it must not ever quit!

News Rant: Poor Kevin Smith

So, Kevin Smith has been ranting on about his "horror film" Red State that he wants to make. While making the rounds on the news site Ain't it Cool News and chatting about his new film Zack and Miri Make a Porn (which sounds way too much like the recent film The Amateurs) he was asked about the status of Red State:

"I'm still trying to find money for Red State, though, admittedly, I haven't been looking that hard yet, since it's not something I'm gonna get to 'til March the earliest. Early prospects, however, look dim. Problem is, the flick is bleak. Beyond bleak, even. Remember how bleak Dark Knight was? This flick makes the bleakness level in that flick seem Beverly Hills Chihuahua bleak. Sadly, while the flick's bleaker than Dark Knight, it's also not nearly as good as Dark Knight. Or as commercial. Or commercial at all, really. The commercial prospects for Red State are not good."

So he's barely asked anyone about funding this project and has already come to the conclusion it's "too bleak". So, it's bleaker than The Strangers, 30 Days of Night, Quarantine or any of the other "bleak" horror flicks released lately? That aside, if it's not as good as Dark Knight, which I liked but didn't think was the holy grail of film making like some, maybe they're shooting it down because... it's not very good! He goes on to say this:

"The question, then, would be "Why bother?" For some reason, I feel like I've gotta make this flick. Part of the reason is that I never really feel like a filmmaker most days; more of a writer who gets to direct his own flicks. Trying my hand at another genre that's 180 degrees away from anything else I've ever done might finally answer the question (for me) of whether or not I truly am a filmmaker, or just the guy who makes the dick and fart jokes movies. I suspect it's the latter. I guess we'll see. Maybe."

What the fuck? Don't get me wrong, I like two of Kevin Smith's films, I don't think he's total shit, but give me a fucking break. Your not sure you're a film maker? So, it takes NINE fucking movies to figure out whether you should just stick to screenwriting? If your not comfortable behind the camera, then get the fuck out of there. I'm sure someone else can make your "dick and fart jokes movies." Stop subjecting the world to what must be the most expensive creative self discovery/wank-fest of all time. You know what? There are lots of film makers out there who do belong behind the camera, so shit or get off the pot. How pathetic.

Noah "Annubis" Soudrette